Strange and Morbid Thoughts

I just watched the latest episode of Torchwood, on the 5th of August. Lying in bed, I keep seeing that moving eye in my head, of a should-be-dead woman inside a crushed car. Creepy. That obviously was the intention of the writer, to creep the viewer out. Success! At this point of what you could call being scared, but what I would call being momentarily freaked out, to hold onto some sort of dignity and a sense that I'm not still a child, I would reassure myself there is nothing to worry about because it's not real, it's made up. And of course, the whole idea of never dying, never healing, yet still feeling pain, IS made up. However, death and pain obviously aren't.

If you asked me what I was scared of I'd most likely answer death or being shot or something similarly painful. I'd say this because I don't believe I'm afraid of any thing. If I faced up to it, I probably would be afraid of heights, but I'm determined to maintain the idea that I would surely be able to face a bungy jump tomorrow. So this leads me to death, or more the fact that it is probably painful in some way. This may be a strange subject to blog about, and indeed it is, but I can't help feeling that a murderer could easily smash through my window of the villa I'm staying at in Portugal and stab me in the chest, or worse, the leg, where I probably wouldn't become instantly unconscious. I often remark that I have a low pain-threshold and I can honestly say pain is something I'm afraid of.

Okay, this is all very melodramatic, I know. I probably also sound paranoid, but we all know that people are dying all over the world in, I'm sure, painful ways and it's the reality of life... and death. But no, I don't think I'm paranoid, this thought of someone dramatically bursting into my room and killing me came to me in a second and would be gone in the same amount of time had I not thought of writing it all out in a blogpost.  And yes, I also know it's very unlikely that I will ever be murdered, but you never know.

So why exactly, when I had this strange and morbid thought, did I think it would be a good idea to blog about it? Well, I never really expanded on my opening blogpost; about often forgetting things that I thought were a good idea, but never doing anything about them, hence the name of the blog. This was because I never really thought anymore about it or pondered the actual purpose of this blog. Now I suppose I have discovered it: sometimes I have thoughts and sometimes I think they're interesting. So every now and again, before I forget about this idea that I usually would within minutes, I may write about it. Or I may not. If you want to read what else I may write, well that'd be nice, but it would be your choice.

For now, however, I believe my lazy brain is done with thinking, but it may linger on the anticipation of the next Torchwood episode. Or it may fall asleep; it's ten past one in the morning.