A Mix of Emotions?

It's funny how your day can go from bad to worse to relatively good all in the space of a few hours. So while sitting in a toilet cubicle crying my eyes out, in the 'worse' part of the day, I wondered what I could do to make myself feel better. So, phone in hand, I open up the internet and clicked on my channel on youtube. Now, although the immediate effect of me reading my profile comments was some more crying, I eventually calmed down, pulled myself together and thought about all the people who appreciate me and my vlogs. Okay, I know its not that many people really, but it's someone, right? It made me concentrate on the fact that a lot of people don't think I'm shit, like I sometimes do. Something to be happy about right?

You're probably thinking I'm some sort of  depressed, self-centred or hysterical teenager. I'm not, by the way. I barely ever cry really. I never cry when watching films, except the other day I slightly teared up when watching X-Men: First Class. Yup. Many of my friends have left the country and school and nope, not one tear shed. But when the anger comes on, my emotions betray me. Sad, I know, but I guess that's life.

So what has this blog been about? Appreciation? Making myself feel better? Crying? Or not much at all? Yes, probably the latter. Writing to write, I guess. Well, this has been very informal. Bye.

Getting Some Things In My Head Straight... For Once

Recently the world has been catching up to me. School is like a protective bubble and it looks like its about to pop. I'm having to do independent work ad make independent decisions and that's pretty scary! But at the same time I'm excited because when you get ahold of an idea you're passionate about but have to do what the teacher's telling you, you want to expand on it in you're own way, and now I can.

 I'm applying to do the Extended Project Qualification, which enables you to do just that, a project on a subject of your choosing, something outside the syllabus. When thinking about what I wanted to do, I had no idea, and this worried me. The project is meant to be something you're passionate about and surely if you're passionate about something it would spring straight to mind, right? After a few days of not really thinking about it, I gave up, deciding I wasn't motivated enough. But not altogether. In passing I mentioned to my mum the question 'Are films better than books?' And so the idea grew from there. There are unlimited possibilities as to how to develop this answer but I settled on 'Do films tell the story better than books?' I want to concentrate more on the creative side of the question as opposed to the industry side, but I think there is huge room for expansion. I really do believe this is something I am genuinely passionate about and I am even going to take it a step further from just writing an essay by creating a short video of a scene from a book. 

As for this growing up stuff, I guess I'm just going to have to take it by the day. But I'll tell you something; you feel a hell of a lot better once you've got at least some ideas straight in you're mind, and I think maybe I'm starting to.